Welcome to Under THIS Roof!
You’ll find an imperfect woman trying to make a perfect life!
Under THIS Roof is where it all happens. It’s our safe place to fall, the one spot we can just be, whatever it is that we are wanting to be.
Some days we are nothing more than a hot mess just looking to escape the world, some days this place is filled with laughter, tears, anger, chaos, or even the opposite, silence. But, it is the one place that we call home. It’s the space that we, as moms and wives, created for our families, no matter if we are dysfunctional and organized or running through each day like a well-oiled machine.
I’m a wife of 23 years, mother of 3 kids; 15, 18 and 22, pet owner of 2 dogs and a cat, a fish (if it’s still alive), living an imperfect life in a suburbia colonial trying to make everything around me perfect! My family, my home, my friends, my job, my life!
It doesn’t matter where “this roof” is located. Our family has lived in only 4 homes and although that seems like a lot for us, I know that there are many that have lived in many more being a military family. We learn and need to understand that it doesn’t matter which ROOF we are under, we call it home. It is home. And for now, we are living Under THIS roof.
Our lives change each year and 4 roofs ago I was a young wife and mother of 3 children. I look at these roofs as stages of life. We rented our first home when we were just married, adopted our first puppy, and had our first baby. Enough said. Then we made our first home purchase and lived there for 16 years. Our family grew in this house. This is the house where the kids were shuffled to different rooms and some rooms were painted and decorated more than once. In those walls, a lot of life happened. The birth of my 2 daughters through to the high school graduation of my first born, my son. Lots of birthdays, celebrations, financial ups and downs, happiness and sadness. This home saw a lot of face lifts, not just from all the remodeling, but from the constant struggle of finding myself in the changes of being a wife and mother throughout these years.
Through the years the children had grown and the rooms began to feel small. Feeling as if we had outgrown the roof we made the decision to move up to a larger home. With this was the harsh realization that your own personal space then became an open book of judgement for all those to see, with opinions of likes and dislikes. That’s not easy when in this space is where you created your life, your children, your safe place to fall. But, we made it and found another home that was not our first choice, but quickly found ourselves thanking God for showing us what was unseen and obviously the better choice for the moment.
Under that 3rd roof I faced the biggest challenges of all. My oldest had left for college and we more than doubled the size of our home, which although it didn’t make sense, LIFE seemed to be going great and became a wonderful home for entertaining! We had the space that we started to host the family dinners and I began to call it my grand kids house. I could see us there for years and envisioned our family continuing to grow and this would be the home that they would return to and I could make a space for us to be the fun grandparent’s house.
But, unfortunately, the home began to challenge us financially and mentally. It was a money pit. It was here that the financial burden became so pressing and the doubts and questions that run through my mind as the mother, the household CFO and decision maker made me feel like a failure. It was me. Felt like it was all me making the decisions. “What have I done?” How did something that seemed to be an answer to prayer quickly become a home that felt as if we were slowly being broken down? “God, I don’t understand this. What am I doing wrong, how did I screw this up so badly?”
So the decision to make another move, within only 2 years, was based on our parenting and adult instincts and led us down a path of “Oh no! Here we go again”. Surprisingly the process became amazingly easy which I believe was all in God’s plan. Within 2 weeks the house was sold and we actually made money due to some improvements that we had made. That money afforded us the opportunity to come to this home, it’s my big girl house, one like all my friends own! A Colonial style home with a pool in suburbia. Within our first year we celebrated another graduation and the beginning of change with our 2nd independent child, and now a college graduation and a wedding coming very soon. This leaves the “baby of the family” now living the life of an only child, my husband trying to adjust and loving in his man cave even more, and I am left trying to find out my new role as mom. The one that isn’t needed every day, under THIS roof, the one I always thought was going to be the “perfect lifestyle”.
Sound familiar? Do you find yourself feeling lost as a mom as you take a step back and look at the child you raised that is now trying to leave the nest? So…what’s next, right? Well, Friend, I invite you to come in and sit awhile, daydream on the front porch with me, work through the emotions of motherhood on the other side, where the children are grown entering their independent worlds into adulthood. Live the daily struggles of finances and learning how to undo all the habits that I have carried over while trying to learn to create a life for that very soon approaching, Empty Nest.