April 18, 2017. The morning of my 45th Birthday.
God’s Gift of Life to Me – the Total Package
Do you ever get out of the shower, standing there totally disheveled looking from just towel drying your hair, raw, butt naked and find yourself just wanting to stay like this, in this moment, for just a few more minutes? The REAL deal. The body that God gave you but you have tweaked a bit with a little more pounds and cellulite than you remember, redness in the face and chest and old age marks that maybe you didn’t deal with in the past?
This is the body that has gone from “yo yo” diets to “3 day diets” and then, well quite frankly, no diet! This body created 3 beautiful children, the smallest was 8 lbs, and the largest was 10 lbs 3 oz. (Oh yes, I am making sure that 3 oz in there!)
This is a body that as a young girl and teenager was athletic, always. It experienced a few broken bones, been mistreated as softball catcher as the knees are a little worn, shoulder suffered a bit, and we can’t forget the broken noses! My mom said it gives it character!
Well now that I stand here looking as a 45 year WOMAN, I see so much more. I see a tired woman that has given so much every day. My giving has been more mental that physical. The financial CFO of the household, mom, wife, daughter, and go-to for the family to make it ALL PERFECT, is now worn. I don’t really feel old. Well, ok lately, yes I do.
I know I am only 45. I am just reaching the 1/2 way mark of my life. I have so many years to look forward to! My children are grown. The 9 lb baby born 16 years ago is the last, and not quite so needy. So now I step back…drop the towel and think…this is me, God. This is what you created and I can only continue to live each day and protect this body, and do my best to be proud of it. But, honestly, it’s not easy. I don’t even recognize myself in pictures, much less, naked. Wait, what is that wrinkle? Where did that come from?
I constantly say I am so thankful for the 22 products I put on my body each day. For that is what makes me feel like who I am, who I want to be. We want to hide all of this nakedness cause we just aren’t comfortable in it. Why???
Sometimes it feels that with each swipe of the lotion, the creamy coldness touching your skin, we feel like it’s us renewing ourselves. The eye lifting serum in hopes we can remain bright eyed. The under eye cream to help fight the dark circles so we remain looking well rested when we find it harder to sleep due to stress and worry. A renewal is taking place with each swipe, product, and scent, that once we are done putting the finishing touches of the clothes that fit our body type just right and hide that roll and new bulge, down to the heel on our shoe that completely describes our mood for that day. Powerful heel, trendy wedge, or maybe narrowed down to our pair of comfy shoes to help us accomplish what we’ve set out to do for that day.
We learn to hide and mask and create who we want others to believe that we are from the outside. But what about who we are on the inside? Why can’t we be naked with all who we meet? After all, how many times have we actually shown our true colors to others? Are you showing them the person that lives in your heart, or are we holding on to our daily lives as the successful, hard working, bringing home the bacon covered up in masked perfection that we know we long to let go of each night we return home, to undo it all and once again, get comfy, in our baggy clothes and let go of it all, with our family and ourselves?
The mirror. Is it reflecting YOU or who you want others to believe that you are?
At what point are we able to let go of the vanity? At what point are we able to enjoy life and be happy with knowing we are happy? At what point are we able to allow ourselves to age gracefully. Our lives are changing, our roles are changing. Why can’t we accept these slow changes and gradually grow into these new roles, the new seasons of life!
I challenge you to do so! I will, starting today. Because honestly, today, I am thankful that there is sunshine. I am alive with healthy children and more importantly, a husband that continues to work hard every day for me and truly loves me! My life isn’t where I thought it would be, but if I did pay attention to my own post yesterday, it’s time to slow down and start embracing the miraculous life that God has given me!
I WILL live my life today in the moment and take each moment to soak it in, and realize that I am better than I deserve!
This is the day that the Lord Has Made!