April 18, 2017. The morning of my 45th Birthday.
God’s Gift of Life to Me – the Total Package
Do you ever get out of the shower, standing there totally disheveled looking from just towel drying your hair, raw, butt naked and find yourself just wanting to stay like this, in this moment, for just a few more minutes? The REAL deal. The body that God gave you but you have tweaked a bit with a little more pounds and cellulite than you remember, redness in the face and chest and old age marks that maybe you didn’t deal with in the past?
This is the body that has gone from “yo yo” diets to “3 day diets” and then, well quite frankly, no diet! This body created 3 beautiful children, the smallest was 8 lbs, and the largest was 10 lbs 3 oz. (Oh yes, I am making sure that 3 oz in there!)
This is a body that as a young girl and teenager was athletic, always. It experienced a few broken bones, been mistreated as softball catcher as the knees are a little worn, shoulder suffered a bit, and we can’t forget the broken noses! My mom said it gives it character!
Well now that I stand here looking as a 45 year WOMAN, I see so much more. I see a tired woman that has given so much every day. My giving has been more mental that physical. The financial CFO of the household, mom, wife, daughter, and go-to for the family to make it ALL PERFECT, is now worn. I don’t really feel old. Well, ok lately, yes I do.
I know I am only 45. I am just reaching the 1/2 way mark of my life. I have so many years to look forward to! My children are grown. The 9 lb baby born 16 years ago is the last, and not quite so needy. So now I step back…drop the towel and think…this is me, God. This is what you created and I can only continue to live each day and protect this body, and do my best to be proud of it. But, honestly, it’s not easy. I don’t even recognize myself in pictures, much less, naked. Wait, what is that wrinkle? Where did that come from?
I constantly say I am so thankful for the 22 products I put on my body each day. For that is what makes me feel like who I am, who I want to be. We want to hide all of this nakedness cause we just aren’t comfortable in it. Why???
Sometimes it feels that with each swipe of the lotion, the creamy coldness touching your skin, we feel like it’s us renewing ourselves. The eye lifting serum in hopes we can remain bright eyed. The under eye cream to help fight the dark circles so we remain looking well rested when we find it harder to sleep due to stress and worry. A renewal is taking place with each swipe, product, and scent, that once we are done putting the finishing touches of the clothes that fit our body type just right and hide that roll and new bulge, down to the heel on our shoe that completely describes our mood for that day. Powerful heel, trendy wedge, or maybe narrowed down to our pair of comfy shoes to help us accomplish what we’ve set out to do for that day.
We learn to hide and mask and create who we want others to believe that we are from the outside. But what about who we are on the inside? Why can’t we be naked with all who we meet? After all, how many times have we actually shown our true colors to others? Are you showing them the person that lives in your heart, or are we holding on to our daily lives as the successful, hard working, bringing home the bacon covered up in masked perfection that we know we long to let go of each night we return home, to undo it all and once again, get comfy, in our baggy clothes and let go of it all, with our family and ourselves?
The mirror. Is it reflecting YOU or who you want others to believe that you are?
At what point are we able to let go of the vanity? At what point are we able to enjoy life and be happy with knowing we are happy? At what point are we able to allow ourselves to age gracefully. Our lives are changing, our roles are changing. Why can’t we accept these slow changes and gradually grow into these new roles, the new seasons of life!
I challenge you to do so! I will, starting today. Because honestly, today, I am thankful that there is sunshine. I am alive with healthy children and more importantly, a husband that continues to work hard every day for me and truly loves me! My life isn’t where I thought it would be, but if I did pay attention to my own post yesterday, it’s time to slow down and start embracing the miraculous life that God has given me!
I WILL live my life today in the moment and take each moment to soak it in, and realize that I am better than I deserve!
This is the day that the Lord Has Made!
Are we doing enough?
I mean, really? Are you? Do you feel like you are?
Well, I bet you don’t. I bet not one mother, or wife, reading this right now feels like they are doing enough to keep their PERFECT home! I bet you don’t even feel like you are doing well enough to keep your “imperfect” home at this point!
Guilt is such a nasty word and it comes from everywhere. My mom can make me feel guilty no matter what age I am. I use this tactic with my own kids, and sometimes don’t realize it. But, sometimes, we bring on our own guilt. Our own guilt comes from our own feelings that we are just aren’t enough. We are constantly looking at other women and comparing ourselves to them; the way they dress, their matching belts to their bags, they’re constantly switching purses to match their outfits, their awesome shoes, and let’s not forget that their nails are ALWAYS done. The list is never ending. It’s a constant struggle for us just to keep up, and, therefore, we feel guilt for not being what we feel we should be.
It’s us always trying to keep up, not only keep up with the Joneses while living next-door, but also keeping up with the Joneses in the workplace, or the mothers that don’t work and you are still working hard every day in an office for someone else. Or vice versa. Maybe you are jealous that some of these women have been able to come out into the workforce after being at home for years and have a career now.
Comparison is everywhere, it’s in our daily lives, in every moment, and that is where our guilt comes from. We need to give our own self “Grace”.
Just as we give others grace we need to be able to accept Grace and know that we try and do the best that we can and sometimes we mess up. The truth is we’re all doing the best we can at this thing called motherhood and womanhood. It’s a journey and it takes lots of learning. We are just imperfect women trying to live a perfect life in our home, our family, our work, friends, neighbors, well, let’s just say, with everyone around us.
Here is what one of my favorite speakers has to say about us putting ourselves second, third, behind the scenes cause we feel like we have to do EVERYTHING, and then sacrifice.
We need to give ourselves permission to be imperfect tonight, to be five places at one time, to not be “all that” but allow ourselves to be perfectly imperfect and know that we are doing the absolute best that we can.
How can we improve? What is our motivation to want to improve?? Our children. Yes, them, once again!
The most powerful way to teach your children how to enjoy life is to let them see you enjoy yours and then they can do the same. Well, my quick answer is that, “I am doomed there, and so are they”! But now, I do have a NEW goal to work towards. Really aiming to live my life intentionally each day instead of “reacting” to life’s issues. I do hope that I can make these changes and that my husband and my kids will see the difference. If I feel better about myself and MAKE the time to do so, it will show! I will get RID of the guilt and take care of me!!
Here’s more on this topic! Neglecting Your Responsibilities – YOU
Let’s stand together and support one another and stop the MOM/WIFE guilt. We need to constantly fuel ourselves to keep us happy! It’s ok! Give yourself permission!
Loving you and ALL that together we CAN accomplish when we just let go of the guilt! Feel the love for yourselves! !